The 5 Love Languages

After reading two terrific books by bestselling author Gary Chapman, I have some tips to share with you soon-to-be-weds. Gary’s New York Times Best Seller “The 5 Love Languages: How to express heartfelt commitment to your mate” inspired & directed countless of couples.   A successful, world-renown Marriage Counselor for over ­­­­20 years, Gary is someone whose knowledge & experience you can count on.  Another of his books, “Things I Wish I’d Known before We Got Married” is extremely helpful as well.

Dr. Chapman’s worldwide bestseller explains how to speak your partner’s Love Language & how to learn your own language of love.

What is a love language? 
It is the filter & the communication tool by which we each feel most loved.   Dr. Chapman named The 5 Love Languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service and Physical Touch.  At first it may be uncomfortable for your partner to learn to speak your love.  However this unselfish demonstration of communication & devotion creates a foundation of fulfillment for you both. From the choices below, pick the one that most applies to you and your partner; then share your discovery with your beloved.

1. Words of Affirmation
If verbal compliments and encouraging words make you feel most connected and admired, this is the primary way you feel loved. Those who need praise to feel loved need daily doses of compliments and acknowledgements.  Compliments like “You are so good at that.” or “You make my day” keep you energized.  When you receive kind comments and when your partner says something nice about you in front of someone else, it means the world to you.  You feel most lifted, accepted and alive with words of affirmation.

2. Quality Time
If you feel lost and disconnected without receiving close attention from those you love, your language is Quality Time. When others are fully present for you, you feel refreshed & connected.  Having someone focus on you gives you life and makes you feel most loved.  Your “love tank” gets replenished when you take walks together, sit across a table, look into one another’s eyes or share a fun experience with another.

3.Receiving Gifts
If your favorite thing is giving gifts, most likely receiving gifts make you feel the most loved.  To these individuals, the cost of the gift will not matter.  If your partner’s love language is receiving gifts and you are not accustomed to giving them, you may need to adjust to this behavior in order your partner feel the most loved.

4. Acts of Service
People like me feel most loved by acts of service from others.  For instance: a young man comes to our home office every week to help me with cleaning & organizing.  Whenever I am carrying something or trying to do something, he automatically pitches in.  I feel very loved by him & his behavior makes me feel secure.   When your love language is Acts of Service you will most likely be a helpful person too.

5. Physical Touch
Studies have proven that it is vitally important for everyone to receive touch. Physical touch in the form of kissing & embracing and making love are all ways of communicating emotional love to one’s spouse.  For those whose language of love is physical touch, they need touches just to know they are loved.   You “touchers” can experiment with your partner by trying new touches in new places, while discovering what demonstrates the most love to you.

Learning the right love language is the key to helping another person feel loved.  This becomes a powerful tool for your relationship.  When you use their love language consistently you will keep their love tank full and overflowing.

Look for an upcoming blog regarding another of Gary’s book “Things I Wish I’d Known before we got Married” soon.

For more from Dr. Gary Chapman, visit his website at

To purchase “The 5 Love Languages” By: Dr. Gary Chapman Click Here